


A Skeleton Fell Asleep At A Bar

by perniciousLizard



Series: Fired Up and Bone Weary [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Puns, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 22:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5760688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perniciousLizard/pseuds/perniciousLizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waking up alone with Grillby after the restaurant's closed <i>opens up</i> a number of opportunities, most of them pun related.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Skeleton Fell Asleep At A Bar

The sound of glass gently tapping glass, right near his skull, was what first woke him. Sans drifted back, his awareness of Grillby's coming to him in pieces. The heat from Grillby himself was just a pleasant warmth, even when he lifted Sans' head off the counter and wiped the surface down with a rag. He didn't just drop Sans back down again like he usually did, which meant he deserved an extra tip.

Yeah, Grillby sure deserved one. Oh, well. Sans sighed and pulled his hood down over his eyes, to block out the light. Maybe he would fall back asleep for a while.

"..." There was always a shift in the air, the drifting scent of charcoal, when Grillby was about to say something. "...we're closed." 

He should have noticed how quiet it was. "how long?" he mumbled. Usually Papyrus had shown up to drag him out, by now. 

".......two hours."

Time for a break from his nap, then. "oh hey. listen to this one." Sans sat up and pushed his hood off. "so a snail walked into a bar." 

"No." 

"that's what  _that_ bartender said: 'we don't serve snails here.' and he threw it out." He'd heard the joke earlier on his patrol. "a couple weeks later, the snail came back and said 'what did you do that for?'" He needed to get going--he was already late saying goodnight to Papyrus. It didn't matter that much that he was timely, since Papyrus didn't sleep or anything, but he would get an earhole full.

"...that was awful." 

"awfully great, i know." The lady who told him that joke was something special. Not everyone appreciated snail jokes like she did, though. "what about this: the past, present and future walked into the bar." He paused, for effect. 

"...it was tense." 

"heh. ok. i guess i'm running low on those. what about the one with infinite mathematicians?" 

"They need to learn their limits." 

"you're on fire tonight, grillbz." He chuckled. "but i'm just warming up. okay, okay, two monsters walk into a bar." He hopped down from his stool. "you'd think one of 'em would've ducked." 

Grillby's fire burned a little brighter, for a second. In amusement or irritation, Sans couldn't tell. 

"all right, i'm out of here. no one holds a candle to you, pal." He winked and started shuffling towards the door. 

"...goodnight, Sans." 

He heard glasses clinking together again, behind him, as Grillby continued cleaning up. "yeah, see you around." 

 

\--

 

He'd only been planning on taking a short nap, to pass a few minutes before he had to get back on duty, but when a warm glass tapped against his forehead in a nearly silent bar, he realized he'd blown that plan. 

"...we're closing, Sans." 

"you're throwing me out already?" He looked up, rubbing his skull. "what's the rush? hot date?" That was one of his favorites. He snickered. 

Grillby pointed at the door and Sans turned to look. Papyrus was on the other side, shoulders hunched, breathing heavy, two seconds from bursting into the restaurant. 

"looks like someone has a  _bone_ to pick with me." He glanced back at Grillby. 

Grillby had the rag up to cover his face, so that Sans couldn't see he was laughing at that one. Score. 

The door burst open. 

"SANS! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING!" 

"i'm actually off duty by now."

"YOU  _WERE_ SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING! BUT YOU WEREN'T! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES!"

He didn't  _have the heart_ to tell Papyrus there was no point. He waved at Grillby before he headed out. 

"...goodnight Sans. Papyrus." 

"I APOLOGIZE FOR MY BROTHER! NOT FOR ANYTHING SPECIFIC. JUST IN GENERAL!" Papyrus left, complaining to Sans about feeling like he was coated in grease when he thought he was out of hearing range.

 

\---

 

The sensation of waking up in a nearly empty bar was starting to get uncomfortably familiar. Sans was sweating, like he had been exerting himself, and when he looked up Grillby was standing right over him. 

Grillby was, as always, hard to read, but Sans thought he looked a little concerned. He should probably nod off somewhere else for a few days. 

"guess i needed to ketchup on my sleep," Sans said. He grasped his half-empty bottle of ketchup and tipped it back, finishing it off. 

"..." Now Grillby just looked annoyed. He walked to the other end of the bar and started cleaning up. "...if you keep missing work, you'll be...fired." He sighed.

Sans _lit_ up, _delighted_.  "nice." He swung the stool around so he could watch Grillby working. "nah, it's fine." Everything would get reset before he had to face consequences for anything. 

"You won't be able to pay your tab." 

That was another thing that was just going to end up getting reset. He shrugged. "you're telling me off, but look at you. this is a non-smoking establishment." He snickered. "can i ash you a question?"

Grillby shrugged and leaned back against the door to the back room, listening. He crossed his arms over his chest. 

Sans was laughing to himself even before he started. "is it hot in here? or is it just you? i'm starting to feel a little hot under the collar. it's probably because you're so  _radiant_ tonight."

"...are you finished?"

"once i get a spark, i'm kind of hard to  _extinguish_ ," Sans said. 

"..." Grillby seemed like he was going to say something. He walked over and Sans rotated back into his regular position. Grillby put his hand on top of the bar. "...you triggered the dating HUD." 

Sans choked, and then started to laugh. He hadn't noticed, but there it was. It had popped up at the "radiant" joke. Well, he was sure at this point that he'd manage to distract Grillby from whatever it was he wanted to talk about. "look at how low our dating power is."

Grillby also started to laugh. It was like a campfire crackling, under his normal low voice. 

Sans grinned at him. "maybe i can help it along."

"..."

"there's no reason we couldn't be a  _match_ .  _tibia_ honest, if you've been feeling  _bonely,_ like you have no _body_ , see if i can  _light a fire_ in you. i mean, i'm a well known  _fire distinguisher_ . call me in here, and right away i'm like, 'that guy's on fire. he's hot stuff.' i'm an expert on this. all dressed up, i recognized immediately that you're a distinguished fire."

They watched as the dating power indicator turned red and dropped below what the box allowed. 

"...it's still the best date I've been on in a while," Grillby admitted. 

"i'm sorry to hear that," he said, still snickering. "you've been working yourself to the bone, grillbz. take some time off." Sans was assuming it was the  _best_ date because Grillby was comparing it to a long stretch of  _no_ dates. There was no other real option here, unless Grillby had gone out with someone like Jerry. 

"If I'm not here, this place doesn't open," Grillby said. 

"it's not open now. let's go somewhere."

"...where?" 

Grillby had a point. His place was the main entertainment in town, other than the library. They could go look at the decorated tree and Grillby could spend his time concentrating on not burning it down. Or, "i can get us in the place at the MTT resort, if you want."

"...it's late. I don't take the boat." 

"huh. i wonder why not." He snickered. He was a little surprised Grillby was going along with the idea, but it sounded like he hadn't taken much time off in a while. "nah, that's all right--i know a shortcut." 

"..." Grillby pulled off his apron and hung it up. The tension indicator jumped and the dating power level eked up to only slightly negative. "...yeah, fine." 

He walked around the bar and Sans nudged at him with his elbow, not actually touching him. Grillby considered for a minute before reaching down to take San's arm. It didn't burn, but Sans knew he would end up smelling like a grease fire. 

They stepped through the door, directly into the MTT resort. 

Grillby looked around. "...I didn't lock up." 

" _lighten_ up. it'll be fine."

Their dating power dropped again, to a new low. 

 

\--

 

A skeleton fell asleep at a bar. Sans woke up slowly, trying to puzzle out a punchline. 

 


End file.
